It's something Iv'e struggled with on and off for the past 2 years.
I've gone through obstacles trying to keep"this thing" a secret but I'm feeling extra vulnerable and brave lately
Here it goes, I have a syndrome called NES (No, it's not a new form of cancer or even an STD)
NES stands for Night Eating Syndrome.
I'm guessing most of you guys are thinking...... "What the hell does that even mean?"
Well, it's a specific eating disorder that has been documented as far back as in the 1800's and is semi common, about 2 percent of the population is diagnosed with it today.
NES consists of waking up in the middle of the night, usually two hours after I fall asleep and finding myself eating anywhere from a small snack to HALF of my days worth of calories!
The key word is in the MIDDLE of the night. Not late at night, which is pretty common but, I literally can't go a night without having one of these bingeing sessions mid sleep.
Some nights I'm completely conscious of what Im doing in the moment. However, other times I don't realize what I have done until after the fact. Or even in the morning. Each night it depends.
Two years ago I thought it was that maybe I wasn't getting enough calories during the day so my body waking me up was because I was hungry. But that wasn't it I was doing it even if I ate right before bed, I would do this even if I wasn't hungry!
I eat more than enough from morning to night time, usually 2100 calories in a given day.
So it's not because I'm depriving myself of food and my body thinks it's going into starvation mood.
--------------->http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13299210<--------------------
click this to watch a video about Night Eating Syndrome
My research tells me that causes of NES can be stress, underlying emotions, and sleeping disorders.
I haven't quite figured out which one is causing me to do this but I do know that it's not a good feeling and its exhausting hoping all day long that I won't do it the following night.
No body ever wants to have a 'problem'. It's almost to the point I'd give up anything to not have this disorder.
I feel horrible when I wake up if you could imagine, I have a loss of appetite throughout the following day, I feel restless, guilt, and the worst side effect that bothers me the most?... it's fricking embarrassing.
I mean it's okay if I'm staying the night at my studio apartment alone but what if I'm not home? ?
If I don't make a conscious effort to bring food to stay the night with me (because I know theres a 90 percent chance I'll care less whose food ill be eating at 3 am) I'll just eat theirs! Not on purpose but it happens.
These people know what I'm talking about and I'm apologizing right now with my imaginary tail between my legs. Im sorry I had no control.
At first when I found myself waking up each night again and again I thought I was rebelling against myself, it was just a bad habit that I needed to break, or was sleep walking.
But, after doing my research on the web and came across the attached video below, I then fully understood what was going on.
That's when I thought... "Hmmm I think I might want to see someone about this".
I called my mom, whose one of the only people whose known about this for awhile, for support and marched myself to the Bella Eating Disorders Center in Glendale where they specialize in NES.
Im going to continue going to a few group therapy sessions with this specialist and am on my way to kicking this' things' butt!
My point sharing this to everyone is to educate people that eating disorders (any kind) can happen to anyone.
No one's perfect. Obviously,I sure am hell not.
Perhaps you may realize you have NES yourself or if you have anything else personally that you've been keeping a secret and need to get off your shoulders, it's okay to let it out.
It may even be a huge weight off your shoulders. I know right now that how I feel.
Anyways, my point is just to let everyone know that they aren't alone and I'm owning up to my own personal imperfections. I'm done hiding.
Like I always say... It's okay if you aren't perfect but the first thing to do in order to fix yourself, is to acknowledge and own up to what's broken.
Baby steps.
